The Time I Killed Myself

by | May 23, 2019 | Purpose | 0 comments

Based on a True Story

I want to die.

Those very words are haunting to me now. I thought them. I spoke them. I attempted to execute. I failed.
The irony–I failed at “failure”.
There are days when I think to myself, “It would be so much easier if I wasn’t around to screw everything up”. The real question is easier for whom? Surely not my children, friends, & family.
Often times, we feel so unloved and underappreciated because very rarely do we hear the words of affirmation that prove otherwise. The world is full of plenty of negativity. It’s inevitable that some of it would seep into our fragile minds. A slight tip of the scale is all it takes to send us into a dark, sunken place.
But, what would really happen if we were successful at taking that final nap suddenly? Imagine for a moment how you would feel if someone you love and care about decided to take that very same trip.
sad dog 
Would you be hurt? Would you cry? Would you ask, “Why didn’t they just talk to me?”
Chances are high that you answered “Yes” to the first two questions. I know I did. Let’s get one thing straight–depression isn’t a laughing matter. It is also measure of the mind more often than not.
What do I mean? The minute we take our focus off of ourselves and how WE feel, then start to focus on helping others, we tend to feel much better. Would you agree? It’s an attitude thing. Don’t get me wrong, I understand there is a science to depressive feelings. What I’m stating is that science isn’t the answer to all things.
So…how did I kill myself?
I snatched the soul from the shell of the former me and placed it into my new body with a renewed mind. It was an appreciative vessel that focused on all that I had rather than all that I lost or may be losing.
In so many words, I killed my old mindset, habits, and environment. I decided to make a change. After all, my choices earned me my current status in life. There was no one else to blame except me.
It didn’t matter who treated me poorly. It didn’t matter how much money I had or didn’t have in the bank either. What mattered was my current opportunity to choose.
I could seek more. I could learn more. I was able to grow if I wanted to grow.
YOU….YOU have that same option, right here, right now. Through tears, pain, and sorrow…you still have the option to choose–because you’re still breathing.
Suicide is the easy road. It’s the cowards way out. I tried to be a coward once. I struggle with it from time to time, and that’s the truth. People often forget that we’re all human. It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to feel pain. It is most certainly okay to want to give up sometimes.
What’s not okay is staying in a place less than what you truly deserve in this life. The wealthiest place in the world is the graveyard.
You have hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Don’t take them to the grave with you. Someone else’s life depends on your success. Imagine giving up and it costing the world everything. You were built for greatness. If you’re afraid to do great things, then do small things in a great way until you’re ready for more.
So kill yourself…the OLD you. Become something new that the world has never seen before. We need you and your ideas. We need your creativity. We need the best version of you so that we can all thrive.
-Coach Kyle Jones
Want to learn more tips (aka Life Hacks)? Below are a few FREE resources for you:
Using Willpower and Why You Suck At It (Course comes with a workbook AND free eBook)